Gryphon Dream

They need a better system...

2008-01-08T21:01:15Z

So today, when I was at the office, Tom collapsed right onto the floor! (For those who don't know, Tom is the manager in the office where I design sculptures for the firm.) Tom is a young guy, but I do know that he has a pace maker and apparently has talked about heart problems.

He was rubbing his chest like it was hurting since morning, then he just fell over right in front of me!

So I called 911. And the recording that came on said, "Emergency services might be limited in your area. We will try to connect you with the appropriate response facility."

And then it just rang and rang. I was sitting there looking at Tom on the floor and the phone was just ringing and no one was picking up. Finally, it clicked and an old 14.4 modem squealed at me on the other end! What the hell? This was just ridiculous. A guy could be dying here!

By now, the secretary had come into the room and was very worried herself. I had dug up the phone book and was looking up "ambulance services".

Now this is the really crazy part. I call the ambulance service listed in the phone book and a guy picks up. I say that we had a guy with heart problems who collapsed and isn't breathing and we needed transportation to a hospital immediately. The guy over the phone paused a minute, sounding frustrated. Then after a couple of seconds, he said, "Uh, yeah. Can't this wait until after we finish our lunch?"

I swear that's what he said! Can you believe that?

Well, after arguing with the guy for a minute, Tom regained consciousness and got up off the floor. He started insisting that he was OK, but I didn't believe him. I put him in my car and drove him to the hospital myself.

I can't believe how incompetent some people are.

My favorite show!

2008-01-04T23:18:57Z

I just got back from being in the studio audience of an "I Love Lucy" show! It was awesome! I'm probably a little biased since it's one of my favorite shows. And Lucy has always been one of my comedic idols.

They really know how to put on a show too. When the cameras weren't rolling, they'd break the fourth wall and walk out of the set and have fun with us. I got to see the out takes too. That was a lot of fun.

Lucy was actually rather beautiful. I always thought she had a pretty face, but seeing it in person was just stunning. I got a few pictures of her on my digital camera.

One thing I thought was interesting was that the set was all painted in shades of gray. All the walls, furniture, carpeting... even their clothing. And they wore stage make up that nearly took the color out of their faces. I guess it was because since it's a black and white show, maybe the black and white cameras get a better picture if everything in front of them is a shade of gray.

And I got to talk to Lucy too!

After the show, I was hanging around the lobby area. Desi Arnaz came through, but all these teenage girls screamed and ran after him like he was Elvis or something! But I found Lucy and Desi Jr. and Vivian Vance down the hallway a bit. No one was around them at all! So I talked with them for awhile. They were very friendly people and happy to hear that I enjoyed their show so much.

Awww, CRAP! I forgot to get her autograph!

Earthquake!

2007-12-31T05:03:25Z

I sure feel sorry for you folks out there in California. Earthquakes are nasty!

Tonight, I was walking back to my house, bringing my stuffed crocodile back home (I think he ran away). It's lucky I was too! Because on the way back, I found my mother's hound dog Wendy roaming around. I figured I'd better take Wendy back to my mom's place so I started heading over there.

For some reason, there were all kinds of feral dogs and cats out tonight. They looked really dangerous. A cat came up to me, tried to bite my crocodile, then acted friendly again, then bit me on the finger when I reached down to pet it. It might have been rabid! Of course... cats are crazy like that normally, so who knows?

Anyway, I stopped by a TV station my friend works at on the way. I put Wendy in the back yard they have there where she'd be safe.

When I got into the studio, they were in the middle of doing the evening news. And suddenly, the building started to shake. They tried to continue broadcasting, but the shaking became so violent they had to sign off and just hang onto something. The quake seemed to last forever. And then, something terrible happened! Levies that held water back upground began to break. This river of muddy, nasty looking water just plowed over everything and into the building.

Luckily the studio was on the second floor. The water completely filled the first floor in no time.

But suddenly, I remembered Wendy! She was still outside. I went out on the deck and poor Wendy was paddling the best she could, trying to stay on top of the water. I had to jump in and save her!

Man, earthquakes are scary!

Busted.

2007-12-29T08:55:48Z

It finally happened. I got pulled over and I just happened to be over the alcohol limit. Naturally, I was arrested and taken to the station.

My lawyer and the people who've worked with me over the past few weeks were great. They did a wonderful job and they've been very friendly, but ultimately it didn't matter. The trial happened and I've been sentenced to 4 years.

The jail I'm supposed to spend time in is in a castle that's been converted into a hotel. The cells are just little doors in the sides of some of the walls. They're 2 feet wide, 3 feet tall and 7 feet deep. Just enough to lay down and sit up in. They were nice enough to let me pick which cell I wanted to stay in. I took quite a while looking at all of them.

I finally chose the one that's outside one of the ball rooms. There is a TV in there with the news always playing and, on the weekends, they have dances. I can't see them, because the cell is a closed box. But I'll be able to hear them. And I figure after four years, I'll really wish for any kind of outside contact. Anything new will be nice. The warden seemed to agree with me on that.

The cells have one electrical outlet. That's it. No lights, no toilet, nothing. There is a small slot in the back of the cell they will give me my meals through and I have to somehow put my waste through. I'll be allowed to bring only four things from home. I've chosen my laptop, a lamp, my thick blanket and a stew pot. And no, there's no wireless internet. I checked.

So... this is it. The only thing left is for me to go down there, sign myself in and they'll put me in the cell. Maybe I'll get time off for good behavior. One good thing to come from all this... My laptop has my music tracker on it. By the time I get out, I plan to have my autobiography written and I should have a pile of new music ideas on the tracker that I can clean up. I'll probably have at least a couple of albums.

Man... this sucks.

If anyone knows the manufacturer...

2007-12-18T20:12:01Z

I'm playing a bit of catch up here, I hope you don't mind. I have so many stories to tell you!

Around two months ago, I found this strange looking gun. It almost looked like some kind of space gun or one of those super-soaker water guns. But this one had an arc of electricity that zapped across the front of it.

Get this, when you pulled one of the triggers, it made a big, perfect hole in whatever you aimed it at. And when you pulled the other trigger, it made the other side of that hole! You could walk right through one side and come out the other, no matter where you put the two sides! You could put them on floors, ceilings, walls... anything!

So then, my gears started turning and I thought, "Hey! I'll never want for anything again with this thing!" Sure, I'd have to do a few slightly rotten things with it, but this gun was the only thing I'd ever need.

The first thing I wanted to do was travel. I opened a hole in the building I was standing next to, then looked off in the distance and put the other side as far away as I could see. Then I stepped right through. I traveled 50 miles in just one step! I did it over and over, traveling westward. By the time it got dark, I was in the desert.

It started getting a little tricky at night time, since I couldn't see where I was shooting the other side of the hole. So I just started aiming for lights on distant farm houses and such.

Of course, silly me, I forgot to charge the batteries before I left. The holes started getting smaller! So I opened a hole inside an old barn, then walked into town. Luckily, the thing took regular cell phone batteries. I went into a Radio Shack and grabbed a bunch of them, and before they could stop me, I put the other side of the hole in the wall and stepped back through into the barn. There's no way they could stop me.

Well, let me tell you, I had a lot of fun for awhile. I could get food and money. I could travel and go anywhere I wanted. If anyone out there finds a gun like this one, I highly recommend you grab it and have some fun!

How embarassing.

2007-12-18T13:19:12Z

Hey, I'm back! Sorry for the hiatus, but my life was getting a little boring there. But I'm going to post more now, I promise!

Something actually happened to me today I really wish hadn't.

I was sitting on a bus with some friends (the bus wasn't going anywhere, we were just hanging out). Our laptops were all linked up and we were playing games and such. Suddenly, I found a snippet of a tune on the internet. It was an instrumental version of part of a soundtrack from an old movie that I liked. I was trying to remember who did it, but for the life of me, I couldn't! It was right on the tip of my tongue too. No one else on the bus seemed to recognize it either. (Note from the Waking Gryphon: The song was an instrumental version of Ozzy Osbourne's, "Diary Of A Madman.")

Well, I wanted the version with the lyrics in it. I had it packed away and I knew what I had to do to get it.

When I moved, I didn't have room to take everything, so I put some of my boxes in a rocky area out in the desert. I didn't figure anyone would bother them there. But lately, pieces of civilization had been moving out that way. In fact, The Mommy Gryphon wanted to go to a club that was out that way. I though I'd take her and collect my boxes while I was out there.

So I took her out there and while she was in the club, I went to where I'd put my boxes. It'd been years, but they were still there, all dusty. I sat up on a tall rock and began to open one of them. But I slipped somehow and the contents of one of the boxes fell out and all over the ground. What was inside? Mostly furry porn. Wonderful. And here came Mom, just at the perfect time to see it.

Strangely, she didn't seem too concerned with the furry porn, but the couple of pictures I had of some people with strange diseases I kept just to study for an art piece. I had to explain to her that just because I had those didn't mean I was "into" that kind of thing. I sure am glad she didn't ask about the furry porn! :)

Anyway, I got the song and happily played it for awhile. I still don't remember the name of it, but at least I have the version with lyrics now.

Death valley.

2006-07-17T13:48:15Z

Hey, guess what I got to do! I got to spend the afternoon with the famous furry artist, Torrle! He's got a house out in Death Valley and he invited me to come out and see him. An interesting house too. It's sitting in this area of sand, and it's surrounded by very tall, jagged desert cliffs.

Torrle says he built the house himself, and I complimented him on it. Though he had one room that was set up with wooden church benches. But they were just facing a blank wall. I thought that was a little weird. I'm glad his air conditioning was working too because it was very hot outside.

Celebrities come and visit Torrle all the time. While I was there, Stephen King dropped by to say hello. He seemed like a very nice guy. Though he kept saying the same things now and then, not knowing he'd said them before. I guess that's what being hit with a mini-van will do to you.

gryph_dream @ 2006-07-10T20:47:00

2006-07-11T02:15:00Z

I almost had a picture to show you today... almost.

I was working at a secured government facility, placed there to help guard it during the winter when it was reduced to limited functionality. Only myself, a couple of staff and a few other guards were there.

I was sleeping in the little apartment they had assigned me, and when I woke up, it had snowed -- the very first snow of the winter. I went outside, no so much to go on patrol but to look at the untouched snow. Along the very edge of the property was a small stream, and it had frozen solid.

I was looking at the frozen stream when I noticed there was something under the ice. I looked closer and saw that it was a fox. And just next to him was a little note. The end of the note said, "Now, if I can just get my paw unstuck before it gets too..." and it ended. As I looked, I could see that the frozen fox's paw appeared to be stuck in some kind of fishing line that was tangled in a little bush, and he had a very worried expression on his face.

The poor fox had started writing a little note to explain his situation, and froze to death in a solid block of ice before he could finish. It was a terribly heartbreaking sight to see. I felt so sorry for the fox. Though it seemed a little morbid, the only thing I could think of to do was to take a picture of him through the ice. I guess I thought that since the fox died so ironically, I should make sure he was not forgotten. At the very least, other people could see him and then he could live in their memories too.

Unfortunately, the stream was just on the other side of the property line. And children had gathered there to play in the snow. Some of them began to come close to the ice. Perfectly clear, untouched ice. Just ripe for children to break. Before they could step foot on the frozen stream, I told them not to touch the ice. One of the children stared at me for a moment, and then defiantly -- just because I'd told him not to -- jumped on the ice and cracked the surface of it so badly that you couldn't see into it anymore. I wanted to backhand that kid into the next zip code so badly I could taste it.

Because of that, there was no way to take a picture of the fox. Damn kids.

Pwned!

2006-07-10T11:36:47Z

Don't you just love it when the right person gets absolutely shut down at just the right time?

We've had this terrible person driving around town lately. He's some kind of religious protester. He believes that since God gave people the right to treat animals any way we want to, the animal cruelty laws are against God's will. I had never seen him, but I heard he would ride around in the back of a bright orange pick up truck, shouting through a megaphone and treating animals in a cruel way. I'd also heard that if anyone ever yelled at him or critisized him, the truck would pull up to that person and they would get out and verbally accaust the person with the complaint.

Yesterday afternoon, I was working on a song recording when I suddenly heard someone out the window, yelling something through a megaphone. I opened the blinds and there was an orange pick up truck with a guy riding in the back. He had a megaphone in one hand and a fox by the tail in the other. He was yelling...

"God created animals to be used as man wishes! And we will not obey the laws of a heathen government! God has given me the right to do this..."

And he began shaking and slinging the poor fox around by the tail!

It was about then that a black man was wandering along the sidewalk in front of our house. I think he is a neighbor. He yelled at the man and, the pickup turned around and started heading for the man. I guess they were going to get out and yell at him like I'd heard. But just as the truck got to him, the guy whipped out a baseball bat and clocked the man in the pickup truck across the head. Knocked him out cold! He fell right out of the truck and onto the street and the fox ran away.

I ran right into the living room to tell my dad about it. I thought it was hillarious!

gryph_dream @ 2006-07-08T10:47:00

2006-07-08T16:25:21Z

I had a very interesting night!

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I'm a famous stand-up comic! I worked hard to become so. And I enjoy doing it very much, because comics make people happy. I did a show last night, in fact! It was a comedy variety show. A lot of comedians performed, and I got to be the headlining act. The audience seemed to enjoy my act a lot, so I'm happy!

Well, a couple of those comedians caught up with me again this morning. They told me I was funny and wanted to know more about my tour and what I did to get where I am. It was very flattering. So I sat down and talked with them about it at a bar over some beers. (The bars in my world open very early.) I even discovered a good beer I hadn't tried before. I don't remember what it's called, but it comes in green, octagonal bottles. You should try some!

It wasn't all a good day though. Some bad political stuff is happening.

I was hanging out in town like I do sometimes, standing around and smoking a cigarette. (I know the awake me quit, but I still smoke. I don't know what the big deal is. I've had lung cancer a few times and except for that one time it killed me, it's always healed up nicely!) Well, one of my Turinian friends came up to me and asked if I'd heard the news. The government is officially allowing an Ondarian holiday to be celebrated this year.

The Turinians and Ondarians are two off-world species who live here. And they hate each other. They're both disguised to look just like humans and no one knows about them except the government. I know about them and I'm not supposed to say anything... but I guess I can tell you guys since you live in another state of consciousness. :)

Anyway, the Turinians are pissed because of this. I guess because they got here first and they wish the Ondarians would just go back home where they came from. An Ondarian killed a Turinian in a bar fight just last week! So the idea that the Ondarians are getting one of their holidays recognized is really not sitting well with then Turinians.

I think it's a little silly. How can one group of aliens hate another group of aliens when they came here from another world too? Just because they got here earlier doesn't mean they're the only aliens who belong here. I don't suppose you guys would have any situations like that in your world though.

Spent the afternoon in downtown Philly!

2006-07-07T08:32:07Z

It's really funny how unexpected events will lead you to meeting new people.

Today, I decided to go visit my friend, Quin. He's one of those geeky guys who wears thick glasses and is always fretting over his computer equipment. But hey, he's a good guy! (Besides, I was hoping he might have a few snacks laying around. I was starving!)

He rents an office out of a big building in Philadelphia that mostly houses some kind of computer archiving company. You practically have to be a secret agent to get in there... or have a friend with an office inside. :)

Anyway, he's one of those guys who's always worked up about everything. So it's kinda fun to play a little joke on him now and then because then he'll get even more worked up and it's fun to watch, in a saddistic kind of way. So, in his office, he asked me to reach into his bag and get him a particular cassette with computer data on it. Particularly, photos of some of the landmarks in downtown Philadelphia. He was working on programming a flight simulator and was using real life pictures he took as part of the terrain. Well instead... I handed him a head cleaner. The tape spun for about five minutes before he figured out what was wrong. :)

But then, he put in the real cassette and said that the information on it had been damaged. He blamed my head cleaner joke, saying the cleaner built up static in the tape head and disrupted the information on the real tape once he put it in. That kinda sounded like crap to me, but if I did cause the tape to get corrupted, then I feel bad about it.

It didn't matter though, because we grabbed a couple of cameras and walked into downtown Philly to replace the photos. It's really a pretty place. Lots of big, old buildings. Fun to take pictures. And while we were there, we met some really cool people! We were waiting to cross the street and there was a guy there in a bear suit! Like... out in the middle of the day, walking around town! We all thought the suit was cool. Well... everyone except his boyfriend who was walking around with him and was a real anthropomorphic bear. We talked to them for awhile and they seemed like really nice people. Though the guy in the bear suit didn't understand why his bear boyfriend was the only one who didn't like his suit.

The bear said, "I can see what you're trying to do, sweetie, but it's just creepy. What if every time I said, "I love you", I was staring at you with big, dead, painted-on, human mannequin eyes?"

I guess I can see the bear's point.

After that, we went over to Quin's Dad's house, which was terribly depressing. Quin's Dad always has a sad look on his face. He's been divorced and now his ex-wife had filed a lawsuit against him and was trying to get the house.

I hate to admit it, but by now, I was absolutely starving! So I snuck into the kitchen to raid the fridge a little. Everything in it was sealed in its original packaging, untouched. So I would have had to open something and I didn't want to do that. The only unpackaged food in there were the half eaten scraps he threw in the crisper for his dog. And even then, I would have needed bread to go with it.

About the time I thought that, the dog came up to me. Even she looked sad. And she said, "Whever I get something that needs bread with it, I always just leave it in my dish and hope someone will put some bread with it." Of course, she didn't actually *say* that. She just whispered it into my mind. Dogs can't talk! ...at least not today.

Strange things.

2006-07-06T21:04:59Z

You know, I can already tell that this is going to be interesting. Just having this Journal has changed things in my world! A little while ago, I was flying an airplane. I was taking my childhood best friend to Burmuda with me in a 747. We were over the ocean and I had to bank the plane to make a course correction, and suddenly I started seeing little squares of the ocean becoming visable through the side of the plane. Just little squares popping in and then freezing. I suddenly realized, I wasn't flying a real plane. I was in a flight simulator. And it was crashing!

Well, what's odd about this, you say? This could happen to anyone. Sure! But when the simulator finally did crash (just before my plane did), a little window popped open and said, "Would you like to report this in Live Journal? Yes. No."

And that's not all! People around me have been doing things just so I'll write about them in here! When I got home earlier, everything on my nightstand in my room had been pushed onto the floor by my roommate, Aubrin. And he left a note on top of it that said, "OMFG! LJ drama! Signed - The Terrorists".

I'm sure this is all because of the newness of the whole thing. I'll bet everything will go back to normal pretty soon.

First post!

2006-07-06T12:46:50Z

Hello, hello!

I guess, as this is my first post, the polite thing to do would be to introduce myself. I'm the guy who runs around when 2 Gryphon is asleep. Sometimes, my life inspires him and sometimes his inspires me. I usually wind up having some pretty interesting experiences, seeing as lots of weird things can happen where I live (in a human brain). I'm glad for the chance to be able to share my experiences with the waking world and maybe inspire other people too! I hope you enjoy my Jornal!

For instance -- a very cool thing happened to me yesterday!

For a long time, there was this old shack in the yard where my dad lived. I don't know how it stayed up as long as it did. It was made out of wood and sheet metal with a brick chimney. We learned that some farmer back in 19-forever-ago built it on the corner of his property to live in, but then when he built a bigger house, he turned it into a little resteraunt and did all the cooking. Apparently the best resteraunt in town at the time!

My dad became obsessed with that little shack. He even re-opened it as a resteraunt! I think he did it out of respect for the farmer. He didn't expect any customers, but he got a few now and then and cooked for them!

I remember one time, the city sheet metal collectors came by in that big truck they use to blow all of the stray sheet metal against the curb so they can grab it. They really wanted the metal in that old shack, but my dad said no. I think he'd rather see his own house taken apart than that shack.

Well, about a year ago, my Aunt Dorothy came down and helped my father restore the place. I mean, technically it was an historical building. So she helped him turn it into a soup kitchen for homeless people! Nice, new wooden floors and tables. It's still made of sheet metal, but its been replaced and restored from the old. There's not much room in that shack, but my dad has plenty of customers! :)

Yesterday, I was in the shack with my Aunt. I had told her about my idea of inventing a Static Wing propultion device. I'd never have the money to do the research and build it on my own, but she talked to a few people she knows about it. My Aunt got a letter that said one of her friends has donated 1.8 million dollars to me for my Static Wing research! Can you believe it?!

I think I'm going to have a lot of fun working on this thing! :)